by Becky Thomson, Mom's Morning Coordinator
Today was our Mom's Morning gathering for November. The topic was Holiness In Motherhood. We started with a discussion of Luke 14:25-33 when Jesus tells his disciples to renounce all of their possessions. How can we do this as mothers? How can we give up everything to follow Christ? Many of us do possess much in the way of personal things (clothes, toys, electronic devices) and if we are even able to go a bit deeper --- our greatest possessions are really our families. How could we ever leave them? In essence, how can we truly be HOLY as mothers in the midst of our families and those around us?
Well, fortunately, there are some great resources out there and this can be your "One Stop Shopping" when it comes to discerning how to live in holiness as a mother.
WHAT DOES HE REALLY MEAN BY GIVING UP OUR POSSESSIONS?
By telling us to give up all of our possessions, Christ is actually telling us to renounce all of those things which cause us to sin --- to let go of the PRIDE in one's possessions and remove those things that could tempt us to do wrong. Now, does that mean Christ wants us to remove the child who causes us to get upset? Of course not! It simply means that we need to constantly work on ourselves to help us overcome our struggles and focus on the LOVE that He wants us to emulate. We have to be willing to let go of what God has given us. In some cases, it may mean thinking the unthinkable ... the loss of a job or home or even illness or death of a child.
Fr. Robert Barron has a great reflection about Luke's gospel passage HERE.
WHAT IS HOLINESS:
All Christians are called to the fullness of Christian life and the perfection of charity. Here is a great article on what it means to live what St. John Paul II had in mind. THE UNIVERSAL CALL TO HOLINESS. Cardinal Timothy Dolan says that holiness is having a faithful, personal, loving relationship with Jesus. To know Jesus, to love Jesus, to trust Jesus, to obey Jesus, to share his life in the deepest fiber of our being...and then to serve Him. Our spiritual program is to GROW IN HOLINESS.
WHAT DOES HOLINESS MEAN FOR MOTHERS?
Holiness can and probably should look differently for everyone. Every mom has a unique or personal situation. We all have varying numbers of children at various ages, some of us have jobs, some of us have traveling spouses, some struggle with anxiety, some have children with special needs, some have family close by and some don't.. and the list goes on. Our circumstances cannot become our excuse, but, merely serve as a framework to help us realize how we can attain holiness with the circumstances that we've been given. A suggestion to living a holy life is to be intentional about living out your faith and even make a plan how you are going to make that happen for you and your family. Write these things down, have a conversation with God about it. Have a family meeting and discuss your charisms as a family. Determine what you are called to be. Are you a family/mom that is contemplative and prayerful? Are you a family/mom that is hospitable? Are you a family/mom that evangelizes? Are you a family/mom that serves others? Does your family have a special love for the poor? Think about these things and then make an action plan.
WE CAME UP WITH A GREAT LIST OF WHAT HOLINESS IS FOR MOMS:
A mom is ... humble, patient, selfless, joyful, prayerful, discerning, frugal/resourceful, a teacher and makes sacrifices. Even though she may struggle, she is able to let things go, knows her children are God's children, is open to God's grace and puts Christ at the center. She knows that her children are her path to holiness and she is intent on becoming who God intends her to be - not who the world wants her to be. She is intent at living an intentional Christian life.
WHO CAN WE LOOK TO FOR GUIDANCE - THE SAINTS!
We listed a number of saints for moms that can help us in our quest for holiness. We also kept in mind that the saints were far from perfect at times... they struggled too! Their human qualities help us relate to them and use them as examples in our own lives. Perhaps you may consider taking on one of these saints we discussed as a patroness for your own life. It's great to know that St. Gianna had a career as a physician and St. Monica prayed for years for her son Augustine's conversion and that St. Zelie Martin struggled with a child with a strong temperament. It's good to know that many saints were given wealth and possessions, but, how they used what they were given is what made them notable. Here is a list of FIVE SAINTS FOR MOMS. Let's not forget that there are many "living saints" we can look to as well ... perhaps you know a fellow mom, sister, your own mother or an aunt or female relative that can be a great example!
A GUIDE TO HOLINESS:
There is also a terrific commentary by Cardinal Timothy Dolan titled CARDINAL DOLAN'S 10 STEP GUIDE TO HOLINESS. These steps are great if you are looking for tangible ways to grow in holiness which include Mass, Prayer, Liturgy of the Hours, Spiritual Reading, Spiritual Direction, Penance, Growth in Virtue, Devotion, Formation and Commitment. Perhaps start with just one or two if they are not a regular part of your day, and build your way up into making them a part of your life. And, he has written a book on it too!
The Book, the Apostolate of Holy Motherhood is a book I myself have been drawn to, mostly because it focuses on living a very contemplative life as a mother. It is a diary of private revelations from the Blessed Mother and the Christ Child to a young mother in the 1980s. It has been given the Imprimatur of the Catholic Church, but, one is not obliged to believe its authenticity. (I hope I'm saying that right.) The link above provides a mom's perspective of the book, which may help you discern whether it is a book that's for you.
Living this contemplative lifestyle as a mother is something I find very difficult to do living such an external life with children in activities and being involved in their school as well as church along with a spouse that travels most of the time. It is a difficult read for some, mostly because it requires a submissiveness to an exceptional prayer life and a tremendous disconnect from worldly things ... hmmm ... sounds a little like Luke's gospel mentioned in the first paragraph above. There is so much we can renounce in order to lead a truly holy life! And yet, that is what draws me to it ... there is a simplicity that I long for (and maybe you do too) amidst the "busy-ness" of life. It is a book that has reminded me to slow down and spend time in prayer, even in the midst of my day ... during the times when it is most difficult.
Another book, Holiness For Housewives, was also mentioned as a great guide. (And something tells me that it's not only for those who are always at home!)
IMPORTANT QUESTIONS TO ASK YOURSELF
As you muddle through some of these ways to help you in holiness (do check out the links!), here are some questions to help you discern what you need to develop holiness not only in yourself, but, in your own family as well. Perhaps take some prayerful time to think about these. Write down your answers and reflect back on them.
WHAT ARE THE GREATEST DESIRES OF YOUR HEART FOR YOUR FAMILY?
WHAT IS UNIQUE ABOUT MY PERSONAL SITUATION AS A MOTHER?
WHAT CHARISM IS GOD CALLING ME TO AS A MOM RIGHT NOW IN MY LIFE?
HOW CAN I KEEP MY MIND and HEART FIXED ON CHRIST?
WHAT CAN I DO TODAY FOR MY CHILDREN AND/OR HUSBAND TO SHOW THEM MY LOVE?
HOW CAN MY DAY(S) BE CHANGED IN ORDER FOR ME TO GROW IN HOLINESS?
Peace & Joy to You!
Becky
Today was our Mom's Morning gathering for November. The topic was Holiness In Motherhood. We started with a discussion of Luke 14:25-33 when Jesus tells his disciples to renounce all of their possessions. How can we do this as mothers? How can we give up everything to follow Christ? Many of us do possess much in the way of personal things (clothes, toys, electronic devices) and if we are even able to go a bit deeper --- our greatest possessions are really our families. How could we ever leave them? In essence, how can we truly be HOLY as mothers in the midst of our families and those around us?
Well, fortunately, there are some great resources out there and this can be your "One Stop Shopping" when it comes to discerning how to live in holiness as a mother.
WHAT DOES HE REALLY MEAN BY GIVING UP OUR POSSESSIONS?
By telling us to give up all of our possessions, Christ is actually telling us to renounce all of those things which cause us to sin --- to let go of the PRIDE in one's possessions and remove those things that could tempt us to do wrong. Now, does that mean Christ wants us to remove the child who causes us to get upset? Of course not! It simply means that we need to constantly work on ourselves to help us overcome our struggles and focus on the LOVE that He wants us to emulate. We have to be willing to let go of what God has given us. In some cases, it may mean thinking the unthinkable ... the loss of a job or home or even illness or death of a child.
Fr. Robert Barron has a great reflection about Luke's gospel passage HERE.
WHAT IS HOLINESS:
All Christians are called to the fullness of Christian life and the perfection of charity. Here is a great article on what it means to live what St. John Paul II had in mind. THE UNIVERSAL CALL TO HOLINESS. Cardinal Timothy Dolan says that holiness is having a faithful, personal, loving relationship with Jesus. To know Jesus, to love Jesus, to trust Jesus, to obey Jesus, to share his life in the deepest fiber of our being...and then to serve Him. Our spiritual program is to GROW IN HOLINESS.
WHAT DOES HOLINESS MEAN FOR MOTHERS?
Holiness can and probably should look differently for everyone. Every mom has a unique or personal situation. We all have varying numbers of children at various ages, some of us have jobs, some of us have traveling spouses, some struggle with anxiety, some have children with special needs, some have family close by and some don't.. and the list goes on. Our circumstances cannot become our excuse, but, merely serve as a framework to help us realize how we can attain holiness with the circumstances that we've been given. A suggestion to living a holy life is to be intentional about living out your faith and even make a plan how you are going to make that happen for you and your family. Write these things down, have a conversation with God about it. Have a family meeting and discuss your charisms as a family. Determine what you are called to be. Are you a family/mom that is contemplative and prayerful? Are you a family/mom that is hospitable? Are you a family/mom that evangelizes? Are you a family/mom that serves others? Does your family have a special love for the poor? Think about these things and then make an action plan.
WE CAME UP WITH A GREAT LIST OF WHAT HOLINESS IS FOR MOMS:
A mom is ... humble, patient, selfless, joyful, prayerful, discerning, frugal/resourceful, a teacher and makes sacrifices. Even though she may struggle, she is able to let things go, knows her children are God's children, is open to God's grace and puts Christ at the center. She knows that her children are her path to holiness and she is intent on becoming who God intends her to be - not who the world wants her to be. She is intent at living an intentional Christian life.
WHO CAN WE LOOK TO FOR GUIDANCE - THE SAINTS!
We listed a number of saints for moms that can help us in our quest for holiness. We also kept in mind that the saints were far from perfect at times... they struggled too! Their human qualities help us relate to them and use them as examples in our own lives. Perhaps you may consider taking on one of these saints we discussed as a patroness for your own life. It's great to know that St. Gianna had a career as a physician and St. Monica prayed for years for her son Augustine's conversion and that St. Zelie Martin struggled with a child with a strong temperament. It's good to know that many saints were given wealth and possessions, but, how they used what they were given is what made them notable. Here is a list of FIVE SAINTS FOR MOMS. Let's not forget that there are many "living saints" we can look to as well ... perhaps you know a fellow mom, sister, your own mother or an aunt or female relative that can be a great example!
A GUIDE TO HOLINESS:
There is also a terrific commentary by Cardinal Timothy Dolan titled CARDINAL DOLAN'S 10 STEP GUIDE TO HOLINESS. These steps are great if you are looking for tangible ways to grow in holiness which include Mass, Prayer, Liturgy of the Hours, Spiritual Reading, Spiritual Direction, Penance, Growth in Virtue, Devotion, Formation and Commitment. Perhaps start with just one or two if they are not a regular part of your day, and build your way up into making them a part of your life. And, he has written a book on it too!
The Book, the Apostolate of Holy Motherhood is a book I myself have been drawn to, mostly because it focuses on living a very contemplative life as a mother. It is a diary of private revelations from the Blessed Mother and the Christ Child to a young mother in the 1980s. It has been given the Imprimatur of the Catholic Church, but, one is not obliged to believe its authenticity. (I hope I'm saying that right.) The link above provides a mom's perspective of the book, which may help you discern whether it is a book that's for you.
Living this contemplative lifestyle as a mother is something I find very difficult to do living such an external life with children in activities and being involved in their school as well as church along with a spouse that travels most of the time. It is a difficult read for some, mostly because it requires a submissiveness to an exceptional prayer life and a tremendous disconnect from worldly things ... hmmm ... sounds a little like Luke's gospel mentioned in the first paragraph above. There is so much we can renounce in order to lead a truly holy life! And yet, that is what draws me to it ... there is a simplicity that I long for (and maybe you do too) amidst the "busy-ness" of life. It is a book that has reminded me to slow down and spend time in prayer, even in the midst of my day ... during the times when it is most difficult.
Another book, Holiness For Housewives, was also mentioned as a great guide. (And something tells me that it's not only for those who are always at home!)
IMPORTANT QUESTIONS TO ASK YOURSELF
As you muddle through some of these ways to help you in holiness (do check out the links!), here are some questions to help you discern what you need to develop holiness not only in yourself, but, in your own family as well. Perhaps take some prayerful time to think about these. Write down your answers and reflect back on them.
WHAT ARE THE GREATEST DESIRES OF YOUR HEART FOR YOUR FAMILY?
WHAT IS UNIQUE ABOUT MY PERSONAL SITUATION AS A MOTHER?
WHAT CHARISM IS GOD CALLING ME TO AS A MOM RIGHT NOW IN MY LIFE?
HOW CAN I KEEP MY MIND and HEART FIXED ON CHRIST?
WHAT CAN I DO TODAY FOR MY CHILDREN AND/OR HUSBAND TO SHOW THEM MY LOVE?
HOW CAN MY DAY(S) BE CHANGED IN ORDER FOR ME TO GROW IN HOLINESS?
Peace & Joy to You!
Becky